The Many Quirks of Parenting

Or, why my son thought "medicos" was a word for many, many years

What I’m Thinking About

I am fascinated by the quirks of parenting - the things that we do that have almost no basis in logic, the habits that get established somewhat randomly. When we drove our son home from the hospital, I sat in the backseat with him to make sure he, you know, stayed alive. I think this is pretty common - parents leaving the hospital are a notoriously anxious group. What’s less common is that one of us kept sitting in the backseat with him - right up until our daughter was about to be born and we had to install her car seat back there. Almost four years later. When a friend asked us, “But why do you sit in the backseat?”, we legitimately had zero answer. I couldn’t justify it or make it make sense, because it really didn’t. Why did one of us sit in the backseat not only on long car rides (again, more common - it’s easier to give out snacks and dole out pathetic “We’re almost there”s from close proximity), but also on local drives to the pool, the grocery store, and more? I had nothing. Hilariously, our son was arguably a better car rider once we moved out of the backseat. Joke was on us!

When I had my daughter, I felt much more confident as a parent. The newborn period was still tough - it’s just not for me - but I was in a much better place emotionally from the jump. The only thing that was hard was naps. She would not nap in the crib for more than twenty minutes (which we called her “little nap”), and before each nap, I would rock her to sleep for so, so long. And by rock I don’t mean I’d be rocking gently in a chair like a mom from a picture book - I mean that I was standing up and bouncing her around like a maniac until she fell asleep. And then I’d put her down gently, she’d wake up, and I’d be at it again. I was miserable. One day, I went to visit a friend whose son was a month older than my daughter. When it was time for his nap, she put him in his crib - awake - put on some white noise, and he fussed and fell asleep. His room wasn’t even dark! When I got home, I said to myself, “Self? What the fuck have you been doing?”, lovingly tossed my baby into the crib, and watched her - imagine this - put herself to sleep, just like my son had been able to do four years before. I had forgotten, basically, how babies can fall asleep - by soothing themselves. It’s good for them (in my opinion!), and it also likely saved me from needing a knee replacement today. Just like with sitting in the backseat, I had chosen a route that was so much harder and helping no one (and, in this case, making both of us quite miserable).

We also have many weird sayings that would probably make zero sense to anyone outside of our family, which I’m sure happens in every other family (readers, please confirm this). For example, when my son watches TV in the morning or while I’m making dinner, it’s called “watching videos,” even what he’s watching is a TV show or movie. But the two or so times a week where he gets extra TV time while I’m running the bath - which only amounts to five or ten minutes - it’s called “movie night,” even though it’s still often a TV show. Why? Well, the “videos” used to be YouTube videos on our phones (very, very glad we’ve exited that phase…), and “movie night” is just a fun rebrand of “extra video time” that stuck. So now that’s what we call his TV time, even if neither phrase makes a lot of sense.

We also have plenty of oddball words for various things, many of them passed down my dad. He could fill an entire dictionary with his version of words, especially foods (“blueberries” are “blubs,” “strawberries” are “strawbs,” “waffles” are “waffkles,” “pancakes” are “panacakes”, and on and on and on. Why are they all breakfast foods? No idea). My dad always called Sky’s multivitamin that he takes each night “medicos,” and so we call them “medicos” too. This posed a problem for us the first time Sky had a babysitter. My cousin Sophie watched him while we were attending a cousin on my other side’s setting. I got a panicked text from her during dinner that Sky was in tears asking for “medi co,” which of course, meant nothing to her. “Oh! I said. ‘Medicos’ means ‘medicine.’” After this, I had to teach my son that “medico” was not a real world, just complete nonsense masquerading as a word. Three years later, if he sees my cousin, he says, “Sophie, remember when you didn’t know what medicos were?!” And my mom has her own catchphrases, many of them involving rhyming (“cozy as a bozy,” “cute as a boot,” etc).

I hope someday my kids write a newsletter about all the weird stuff they do with their own kids (if they choose to have them) and all of the quirky phrases I’ve passed down. I’d love to hear the unusual things your family says and does; I know I’m not alone in this!

What I’m Reading

I picked up Sara B. Franklin’s The Editor, a biography of Knopf editor Judith Jones, at the library in my hometown. I don’t usually choose books at random, but this caught my eye, and I enjoyed it quite a bit. As an editor myself, it was interesting reading about someone’s career from start to finish (and the fact that someone who discovered Anne Frank and Julia Child for the American market retired after five decades as a senior editor and making so, so little money - I mean….wow. Publishing, you’re a special kind of beast). I also read The Wedding People by Alison Espach on vacation (I think I may be the last person on Earth to read it?) and really loved it. It delights me that something so literary (and plot light) has been so commercially successful; I’m sure the high concept hook (the collision of a bride and a woman who wants to die in one place, set over a short time period) helped. I really loved the sense of humor and the characters, even if the ending felt overly tidy.

I’ve also made my way through three book club books - A Great Big Beautiful Lie, I Who Have Never Known Men, and Sky Daddy, but I’ll keep those reviews for next time until I can discuss them IRL, because who wants spoilers? (The answer is - no one).

Right now, I’m reading Bethany Joy Lenz’s Dinner for Vampires, which my friend Arielle lent me. I don’t often read memoirs by celebs with whom I’m not familiar, and since I missed “One Tree Hill,” I don’t know Lenz This is really unputdownable, though - I’ve been staying up way too late speeding through (Arielle, I blame you for this!). Reading about someone who is in a cult is like seeing the frog in boiling water concept come to life, and whoever co-wrote this (and I’m sure someone did!) did a great job with the voice. I’m excited to finish it tonight.

What I’m Watching

I’m happy to report that “Final Destination: Bloodlines” was pretty much a perfect Final Destination movie. I’m so happy to have seen it in the theaters, where my friend Shruti and I both said, “No, we don’t talk during movies!” and proceeded to spend the entire movie whispering, “Wait, why did that MRI machine turn on so easily?!” It was funny, it was smart, it was gory, and the deaths were creative. 10 out of 10. It also sent me down the Final Destination rabbit hole, and I rewatched FD 1-3. I was surprised to discover that most of the iconic deaths I remember are from the second movie (aka “the logging truck” movie), which is probably my favorite after the new one. I still need to watch 4 and 5, which I’ve never seen (4 is known to be the worst one of the 6, and 5 is apparently - decent?), and then I need to start assembling my October horror movie watch list, which is always robust.

I sped through the new season of “Couples Therapy,” which is one of my favorite shows. It took me weeks to realize there was a new season because it wasn’t a new season at all; it was a continuation of the last season but with all new couples? Why? I didn’t find the couples as dynamic this time as other seasons, but I’d watch new episodes of “Couples Therapy” literally every day if I could, so it was a delight.

I’m also loving the new season of “America’s Sweethearts: Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders,” even though I miss the incredibly down energy of Victoria, and I started the new “Ultimatum: Queer Love,” with my sister, who is now hooked (Sally, you’re welcome). And my husband and I are still enjoying “Severance” - we’re on the last episode of season 1.

I’m ready to see a good summer blockbuster; I’d love to make it to “28 Years Later.” Zombies aren’t usually my thing, but I said that about vampires and I loved “Sinners,” so maybe I don’t know what my thing is!

What I’m Making

Pottery is officially done for the spring, and I’m happy with a lot of the stuff I made. I’m especially proud of five plate bowls I made for my parents. My sister and I are always complaining that they don’t own plate bowls and now we can shut up slash find something new to complain about! I’m going to take the summer and fall off and return in January, ready to make some more pottery. Until then, I will attempt to find homes for all of the stuff I made… wish me luck.

My embroidery orders have still been slow, but I’m plugging away at a “fish tank” embroidery for my mom’s friend and about to embark on a new baby embroidery for my friend Molly as well as a commission for my friend Lucy. While Molly and I were searching for designs, she unknowingly sent me an AI embroidery pattern, and I have to say - they’re the worst. I can spot them now - the thread in the demo pics is often curvy and 3D in a way thread isn’t - and it just makes me sad. And beyond that, the patterns suck. I bought one once by accident. Never again!

I’d love some new summer recipes, if you have any up your sleeves to share. My friend Ruth mentioned tomato sandwiches today, which reminded me of a fave Smitten Kitchen recipe for fried provolone + tomato sandwiches. I made one today and holy moly, was it good. I also plan to eat a lot of street corn salad, which I love. Any new food ideas are welcome!

Signing Off

Our town pool just opened, and I’m now dreaming up ways that I can spend the maximal amount of time reading poolside in an Adirondack chair. Summer is my favorite season and it’s speeding by, so I’m looking for every way to get the most out of every moment while - this is a theme - not putting pressure on myself to ~ be present ~. I am wishing you a restful, fulfilling summer and reminding you to pllllleasseee wear sunscreen!

<3 Kat